Dane Reviews: Dragon Age: Origins.

The hype about Dragon Age: Origins quickly overrun my head with the word "Dragon". So when I bought and played the game I was greatly unaware of the fact that there are NO DRAGONS. Which is quite awkward since the name of the game is DRAGON AGE: ORIGINS. I at least suspected that the game was like Divinity 2, which in the game, you turn into dragons. But alas, the only dragon I saw in Dwagwon Age: Origins was that of a cut scene, which I think was called the "Wartmage" or something. Seeing that there were no dragons in Barney Age: Gayigins, I quickly closed the game and never touched it for at least 4 hours. And by that time, I was already doing the incredibly long and hard main quest of Cookie Age: Elmogins. Which, to no surprise, is extremely DIFFICULT WHATEVER YOU DO.

Dragon Age: Origins is named as the "Ultimate RPG of all time", I do support this theory because this is the only good RPG I've ever played aside from Oblivion, if it even has the right to be called an RPG. Does it even have the right to be called a game? Dragon Age: Origins, from a 3rd person view, can quickly turn into the top view like in the RTS's. So hooray, Dragon Age is the best game because it's 3rd person and an RTS. Not exactly.

Let me tell you of the time I first played Dragon Age: Origins. Though it looked pathetic from the box art, the cut scenes are well enough to be turned into a movie. Though the "Choice picking" thing is very stupid, annoying, and shitty, Dragon Age's acting characters are not as quite repetitive unlike many other games. And yes, there are no easy choices, since every choice you make will end up making you become friends with a group of bandits, or getting your head chopped by soldiers just by saying to the king "I don't want to be your friend, human lord".

It's been the 4th paragraph and I haven't even told you about the games stupid fight controls, the game's stupid camera angles, and most of all, the game's stupid plot. If you're a Dragon Age player and made it to the last part of the Battle of Ostogar, don't you think it's quite stupid that the humans still lost to the Darkspawn? Seriously, I was given 4 characters and they easily killed off at least a HUNDRED of those shitty assholes. And yet, when a THOUSAND ASSHOLES face off another THOUSAND OF MUCH UGLIER ASSHOLES, you come to conclusion that YOU WILL WIN. But NOOOOOOOO, STUPID BIOWARE WANTS OUR HEARTS TO BREAK BY PLAYING 80 HOURS OF PURE UNBEATABLE GAMEPLAY.

Though each race starts off from different perspectives, you will still go to the main plot eventually. Many people don't know it, but Gaga Age: Gagogins is actually very linear. Really, understand the game for once.