Merry Christmas.

After carefully analyzing that Justin Bieber said "One Time" over and over for 24 times, I am pleased to announce that I now feel this "Christmas Spirit" of which you speak. Which is no surprise since today really is Christmas. Yet I am sad to say that the fat cheeky fellow who wears a red suit and has a white beard did not give me my wish of having...well...uhm...that's a secret. But don't lose hope if you didn't get your wish this Christmas, because there is always a way. What I mean is go to the North Pole and kick Santa's ass for not giving you your wish! That's the spirit ain't it? Now, go have fun with your family you strange person.

Merry Christmas,

- Dane

Something to remind to people like you.

December 25 is almost here and I can't shake the feeling that the fat bastard with the white beard called Santa put me in his "non-nice" list. Which would sound ridiculous if not for the fact that I've been playing Modern Warfare 2 and it's controversial mission. Yes, the mission where you undeniably kill innocent chickens. Indeed I was shocked when the game gave me a gun and a place full of chickens with the objectives "Escape while killing all the chickens". I am quite angry at Activision and Infinty Ward for making me kill innocent chickens with a grenade and an Uzi while looking helplessly doing nothing but aim and clicking the mouse. Now, where was I again? Oh yes, Christmas.

The Christmas spirit, also known as the Ronald McDonald Kiddie Meal aftertaste, is always taller and always higher than our heads, so I advise you to NOT sniff anymore drugs you have before the date December 25. A few more important safety reminde- That reminds me. People, do NOT buy The Amazing Live Sea Monkeys. I know deep inside everyone is a special place where we all love and adore Sea Monkeys but this is absolutely a giant scam. So, you have been advised.

I would LOVE to discuss to you more Christmas tips, but sadly, something just came up. I WILL ALWAYS AND FOREVER REGRET DECEMBER 22. FOREVER........!!!!!!!!!!!

Hitch.

Anyone of you guys know the movie Hitch? No, not Hitcher, that's a mother effin suspense. I'm talking about the comedy starring Will Smith and Eva Mendes. Well, I always knew this movie, but I really never had a chance to take a closer look at the movie until just know.

In the movie, Eva Mendes said "Relationships are for people who wait for something good to happen." That is not true Ms. Mendes. The movie suggests that she's an OPTIMISTIC and WORKAHOLIC person, so that's why she gets GOOD RELATIONSHIPS. Seriously, the whole movie was based on deceiving and being deceived. Especially the story of Hitch himself, he loved this girl but the girl cheats on him and that's where the "Date Doctor" business started. If Americans think that love is like that, then they must be more stupid than a wild carnivorous cow that eats lions and tigers.

Seriously, I would never deceive Plender to gain her love. Never. Unless I become so desperate, something we all know could happen.

Another Hole Without a Cover.

It is a sad time for gaming dear readers. Pandemic Studios, maker of the fun games Star Wars Battlefront, Mercenaries, Destroy All Humans, and Lord of the Rings: Conquest, has officially closed down. It is tragic, yes. Everyone loved their games, everyone loved them. This is what happens when a gaming studio is bought by one of the most evil gaming companies ever to have been created, EA. And now, let us give our hearts to the staff that made us great games. I am great full to Pandemic. I am great full to Westwood. And I am great full to those gaming studios who were closed down by mother fucking EA.

We love you Pandemic.
We will miss you.

Pandemic's new game, The Saboteur, will be in stores on December 8. Please buy it in honor of Pandemic. May they live in gaming history forever.

A battle is only worth fighting if you know you're victorious.

Remember when I said I still had a chance to get an Xbox? Well, I think I exaggerated a little bit. Seems I have a narrow chance of about .0000087 percent of getting the Xbox. Now, if that doesn't make sense my dear reader, then let me explain this in the most simplest way a person like me can.


XBOX R NOT POSSIBLE


Well, that's what I think. If you've got any idea of how I can get an Xbox then please, you are welcome as in, VERY WELCOME, to mail me of how I can get an original American and legalized Xbox 360 from Microsoft. Please, I require as much as I can in this great undertaking between good and evil. Seriously.


Thanks and God bless,
Dane


Oh yeah, my email is dane_enerio@yahoo.com If you've got any questions, jokes, interesting facts or even your autobiography, please don't hesitate to mail it to me. I assure you there will be a reply. It's a money back guarantee. I promise.

I have a surprise!

Since I haven't been posting lately, have some....


AWESOOOOOOOOOOOME...

DISCO SONGS!

WOO FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.


EDIT!: Couldn't handle it? WANT SOME MORE!? HAVE SOME MORE!

Has it been that long?

Hey guys, you might be asking why I haven't been posting lately. So, I got a laptop and is still aiming for an Xbox since Halo: Reach looks fucking amazing. I got tired of blogging since Twitter and Facebook can like, post in.. bite size pieces. So, for more updates just follow my Twitter account. Be seeing you guys.